it's pretty mushy

Tuesday, Dec. 28, 2010 | 2:52 PM

so i still have the house to myself, and i've been taking advantage of it by playing my music loudly, and singing with it when i am so inclined, and letting my cats run the whole house (which they are very excited about.) right now is savage garden time.

i want to live like animals... careless and free, like animals...

apparently i am still unable to listen to them without starting to think about steve, feeling sad, and then crying a little. i loved him. i wonder how he could have said the things to me that he said, and then broke my heart so badly. he seemed so sincere. he hurt me so much. i'm not sure the scar will ever leave me.

and so my consoling thoughts, of course, are ones of david. he said he'd come see me, just like steve and also bryce had said. i doubted him. i became excited, just like i had the two times before, but i doubted him. i had to.

but then he pulled into the parking lot on his motorcycle, and waved at me in the cutest way.

in your eyes i see my future in an instant, and there it goes, i think i've found my best friend...

the story of david and i began and slowly unfolded. it had its ups and its downs, its good times and bad, tears and laughter, adventures and firsts and camping trips and rolling around in the sand and the snow... and he freed me. and we become very close.

you're so close where do you end, where do i begin...

falling in love was the most amazing and magical time of my life. giving me that experience is alone enough for me to love him, but not the only reason of course.

the impossible occurs each day...

i'm not sure of all of the reasons, and maybe i unreasonably love him also. him loving me makes me love him, his adorableness makes me love him, his cute personality makes me love him, his subtle sweetness makes me love him, his intelligence makes me love him, his beautiful eyes make me love him.

i'm getting all mushy now. i try to avoid writing mushy things here, but the mush is indeed within me.

his help in mending of my broken heart and my broken life makes me love him. he has helped me so very much.

today i will get to see him after not seeing him for about twelve days. i guess that doesn't sound like a long time, but i missed him a lot. i need frequent doses of david. i crave his company, i crave his hugs, and oh how i crave his smile, which he rarely puts on his face.

i need to see him, i long to be with him, and time is moving so slow!

oh david, i can't wait to see you and return to your arms. i will melt into your arms. our reunion will be fantastic. i want to get lost in your eyes. i want to stop time, for even all of the time in the world is not enough to enjoy you. i want to have adventures with you. i want to be there for you. i want you to know that i will always be there for you. i want to take care of you.

I WANT TO STAND WITH YOU ON A FREAKIN MOUNTAIN!

until the sky falls down...

i'll be your dream, i'll be your wish, i'll be your fantasy, i'll be your hope, i'll be your love, be everything that you need...

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