life is good, really...

Wednesday, Oct. 22, 2008 | 5:21 AM

i'm feeling depressed. here are some reasons why:

i feel like i've lost melissa and joel as friends, since they've moved farther away. i'm 99% certain that melissa won't contact me to hang out again. if i want to, i'll have to do it. it's been like this through most of our friendship, or attempt at friendship, or whatever. maybe i should take the hint finally, and leave her alone.

i have been staying up all night and sleeping most of the day. this is very depressing, especially during this time of the year, since it keeps me from seeing any sunlight. i have tried over and over and over again over the years to change this habit of mine. i just can't do it. it's so frustrating. it's just impossible for me to change this, but i want to change it so bad.

i feel like i can't talk to david right now about things that happen in my life and how i feel and stuff. when i talk to him, i'm taking time away from his homework or sleeping time. so if i'm gonna talk to him, i'm gonna spend that time helping support him while he goes through issues with school and stuff. i really want to help him succeed in this endeavor. it's extremely important.

i'm also still afraid that i'm just not smart enough for him. he could probably get better conversation and better encouragement and be happier and more satisfied with someone who is smarter than me. he deserves better than me. what a depressing thought.

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