songs and milkshakes and buying a house

Saturday, Jul. 14, 2007 | 2:27 AM

i was feeling kinda stressed. i took bubble outside. it was still and peaceful. i looked up at the night sky, and began repeating the simple chorus to this song. the wind picked up a little bit. i continued for several minutes, and began to feel a lot better.

it's a beautiful song.

but a certain sign of grace is this
from a broken earth, flowers come up
pushing through the dirt

you are holy, holy, holy
all heaven cries holy, holy God
you are holy, holy, holy
i wanna be holy like you are

for some reason i used to not like songs like that very much. the ones that are all like, "oh God you're so great" and stuff. i don't know why. i mean i liked them ok, but i preferred songs that were more about... life, if that makes sense. like several u2 and switchfoot songs. but now i just love songs like that.

or maybe it was a selfish sorta thing. i liked them better when they were more about "me." when i could relate a lot and stuff. now i like turning my attention away from me.

i feel sick now though, and i am extremely bored.

as you might know, i was extremely busy when i first got bubble. it's not quite as bad now, though there is still some busyness and stress and stuff. i didn't have much time, that first week or so, and often didn't get the chance to eat much. as a result i think my stomach shrunk. i'm eating a lot less. there were times i'd just eat like all day long... though a lot of that was out of boredom.

since getting bubble, i've lost about six pounds.

when i do eat, it's in smaller quantities. but today, my parents got me this milkshake from arbys. it was this special strawberry banana thing that they have right now. it was kinda large, but i made myself consume it all. i felt bad throwing a bunch of it away.

so now i feel totally sick.

in other news, my parents keep talking a lot about buying a house. my dad wants to drive out to this place tomorrow to go look at it. i told him that i only wanted to do it if there's an actual chance of us buying it. he says there is. that would be pretty darn cool, wouldn't it? i am filled with doubt though.

after searching around the site more... i think i want this one instead. it's only 600 thousand dollars.

sigh. money sucks.

...................... .......................................... ............................................. .......................... ....................... .......................... ................................................... ................................ .................. ...................... .......................................... ............................................. .......................... ....................... .......................... ................................................... ................................ .................. ...................... .......................................... ............................................. .......................... ....................... .......................... ................................................... ................................ ..................