i will always love him

Tuesday, May. 04, 2010 | 7:33 PM

so on friday david delivered the news that berkeley had accepted him. and then he came here to portland and stayed for the weekend. i pretty much cried almost nonstop from when he told me the news until sometime on saturday. all david could really do was say, "i'm sorry" and hold me.

i haven't cried again since when i stopped on saturday. i've felt like crying many times, but i think i am all cried out. i just couldn't get the energy to cry again.

my parents went to the beach on saturday and so we had the place to ourselves. david went and got some whiskey stuff that supposedly tastes very good because it's good quality. of course i found the taste to be really nasty. i gave david permission to celebrate his getting into berkeley.

the stuff is 45%. i drank 8 ounces. i diluted mine with water and took a bite of food after every drink and drank it slowly. david, however, drank 10 ounces and his was not diluted with water or food. we were both very affected, of course, but he was much more so than me, it seemed.

we had a conversation that lasted several hours and i ended up feeling even closer to him than i'd been before. probably not a good idea since he will be going away soon.

we both drank a bunch of water before going to bed. i felt like i couldn't drink enough water no matter how much i drank. when i put the blanket over him and turned out the light he fell asleep right away.

when we awoke, i was feeling ok, but he was not. i pretty much spent the day before he left taking care of him. i felt like i wished i could take care of him all the time.

i still really wanna be there for him, and encourage him when he's worried about school, and listen while he tells me all about his classes and his tests and his worries and his successes and everything. and anything else he wants to tell me. i love him. i always will.

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