what will happen next?

Friday, Feb. 12, 2010 | 6:38 PM

the situation with my mom is getting worse and worse. her and my dad are fighting more than they have in a long time. there should be no fighting and no stress. she's not getting better.

kaiser is not sending out the right papers, so she hasn't been getting disability checks. so they are fighting over money problems. my bank account has now gone under and been charged a fee. there's nothing i can do. my dad keeps talking about getting rid of the animals, moving into "a shack," and not having cable, internet or cell phones. i know that's a bit extreme, but i don't want any of those things to happen.

david informed me that he will be spending four or five nights of spring break with his parents in california. his mom insists on excluding me. i had so been looking forward to spending spring break with him. also, i don't get valentine's day with him on sunday.

the spring break thing feels like a foreshadow of how i will feel when he moves far away next fall.

and, yesterday he decided to complain about me not doing anything with my life right now, which just made me feel more depressed. i asked my mom to call goodwill to make me an appointment to get help with finding a job, but she didn't. i've looked on craigslist, and there's just nothing that would work for me. anything i could possibly do requires experience, or a license and car.

i'm so depressed that i'm feeling physically sick. i've been feeling sick all day. i just want this feeling to go away, but it won't.

...................... .......................................... ............................................. .......................... ....................... .......................... ................................................... ................................ .................. ...................... .......................................... ............................................. .......................... ....................... .......................... ................................................... ................................ .................. ...................... .......................................... ............................................. .......................... ....................... .......................... ................................................... ................................ ..................