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get up, get up, love is moving you nowWednesday, Oct. 29, 2008 | 3:58 AM i am at david's house right now. i've been here since sunday night, and i'm going home sometime tomorrow. he's sleeping right now, but i don't feel sleepy yet, so i'm attempting to entertain myself. most of my time spent here has been sleeping while he's at school and doing homework, and then entertaining myself while he does homework. i attempt to encourage him to do his homework and get sleep instead of being distracted by me... but of course my presence isn't ignorable. i love just being here with him, but i do feel a little bad. i guess we probably shouldn't do this again. it's just so hard to go though the week without seeing eachother. ah, but we'll get through it. christmas break will be really nice. i'll hold him hostage at my house for a week or something. hmm... so yeah, i'm kinda bored. i should write here to ease my boredom, like i used to do long ago. um um um um um um um... ok i got something. i have some guilt in my life right now. i'm not really sure what i'm gonna do about it. i feel like a bad christian. i feel farther from God, and it sucks. if there's one thing that i'm really bad at in life, it's balance. i need to balance things in my life better. i'm hoping i will be able to figure this out soon. i'm holding to the belief that God will bring me back to him. one thing i want my life to be characterized by is love. if i'm loving, at least i'm doing something right. there's so much i wish i could do. there are so many ways i wish i could help. i want to surrender to sacrifice, but it is so hard. i see need in the world all of the time. i feel an urge to meet it, but i am either not confident in my ability to meet it, or i simply cannot meet it. hmm... i feel like i am writing a jumbled mess of sentences that don't fit together at all... after spending hours with a perfectionist writing his essay. he actually did spend like five hours on one paragraph. i don't know. i'm feeling sick now. i'm gonna go eat something. ... i think i'm feeling a little lonely and scared now. the last two nights, i've went to bed soon after david. but today i got too much sleep, so i just don't feel like sleeping now. i've been sitting in this room alone for the last three and a half hours now (i've only been writing off and on.) i'm remembering that i'm in a strange house with people (his parents) that i don't really know. david is what keeps me comfortable here, but now i must be separated from him. i can't bother him and disturb his sleep. ... well, now i've been in here for about five hours, and i think i'm gonna go to sleep finally. i will leave you with these words to read... a day in LA this is the incompletion love is the movement ... get up, get up ...................... .......................................... ............................................. .......................... ....................... .......................... ................................................... ................................ .................. ...................... .......................................... ............................................. .......................... ....................... .......................... ................................................... ................................ .................. ...................... .......................................... ............................................. .......................... ....................... .......................... ................................................... ................................ .................. |