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roller coaster

Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2008 | 1:17 AM

ah, life is an emotional roller coaster for me. i am a mix of emotions right now.

i am scared to death of losing david somehow. i think that this is ok, though. how lucky i am to have someone that means so much to me that i am terrified of losing. no, being afraid of losing people is not new or uncommon for me, but this is different. i've never been so afraid of anything else in my entire life.

i am also very scared of doing wrong by him somehow. i want the best for him, whatever that might be. even if it does include my loss of him someday.

i am also feeling a joy and a peace in knowing that i don't really have to be afraid. i don't know what the future holds, but for now, the chances of losing him are extremely unlikely. when i'm in his arms, i am safe. when i am in his arms, everything is ok. there is no better place to be than in his arms.

i am feeling happy and so very proud of him for going to school now, after a four year delay. i am determined to do anything i can to help him.

i am feeling excited from the switchfoot concert that i went to on sunday. i feel great after singing at the top of my lungs, with the band that moves me so, and a thousand other believers.

i am feeling encouraged after shaking the hand of the man that dares me to move.

i am feeling closer to God after singing with fellow believers, songs written with the intention of sharing his word, his love and his calling to all of us.

i am feeling encouraged about life in general.

i am so happy.


(that's me and jon foreman)

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