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baby steps

Friday, Feb. 08, 2008 | 5:36 AM

i should write about sunday. there was no youth group that day, because of the super bowl, so i didn't wake myself up like i usually do on sunday. instead, i was woken up around 5 pm when melissa called me. i was really confused as she talked to me, because i had just been woken up, but i understood that there were some youth group people at her house and she was asking if i wanted to come over. i agreed to have her pick me up after picking up the other sarah and going to the store.

i got up to get ready as quickly as possible, but then i remembered some things. i didn't need her to pick me up, because it was sunday and my dad wasn't at work. i also had to go to the barn and take care of paloma. so i called her back, and told her that my dad would take me over there after i went to the barn.

when i got there, they were playing with dry ice. i got in on the tail end of it though. there was a glass bowl sitting on the table, with steamy smokey stuff coming out of it. i guess it was the ice in some water. the group consisted of melissa, joel, paul and sarah. i went outside with joel and paul, and watched them pour what i think was vinegar into the bowl with a new piece of ice. i kinda wanted to take a video of it, but i didn't.

they (we?) just sorta hung out, and sarah helped melissa make pizza. joel had seen my entry about guitar guy, and started talking to me about radiohead. he said i could borrow the album from which that song was. i shrugged. he said the sound of it was like, kinda depressing like. i mean, it's not like, depressing... but it is kinda... um... uh... i don't know. i don't know how to describe it, but i knew what he meant as he spoke of it. that's sorta what i like about what songs i have, for some reason.

he also said, "so, no bubble?"

"i didn't think you'd want me to bring her."

he told me that it's ok for me to bring her there, and then he proceeded to tell me that she pooped on the couch last time she was there. (that time when i was all crying a bunch.) darn, that sucks. i thought she'd peed on the floor... pooping on the couch is even worse.

i had earlier seen him squishing a squishy thing on the end of a pen, and i really felt like i wanted to squish it. so i asked him, before he walked away, "can i play with that squishy thing?" he gave it to me, and i then played with it and squished it the rest of the time i was there.

after eating pizza, they began to play the game scattergories. i wouldn't agree to play. for the first three rounds, i just sat in the corner of the couch, watching. i've watched people play this game before, and there's one thing they often do that makes it not so fun to watch. they don't say what the categories are before they shout out their answers, so it isn't as funny to me as it is to the ones playing. for the fourth round, i scooted closer to melissa, and asked, "can i watch?"

this time, i kept thinking of things that i would have written had i been playing. i don't know what got into me, but when they started the next round, i said, "maybe i could play."

that's like, way amazing. it was the first time ever that i joined in on a group game with youth group people. so like, be proud of me, people.

as the timer ticked away, i remembered why it is that i never join in on group games. it made me like, five thousand times more nervous than i was when i was watching, which resulted in me not being able to think very well at all. i was only able to write three things down. i didn't get a chance to do better, because that ended up being the last round. paul and sarah had to go home. it was probably a good thing. i need baby steps. small baby steps.

so melissa and joel drove paul and sarah and i home. as they dropped me off, melissa asked me, "did you have fun?"

i nodded. i actually did have a good time.

on tuesday, melissa and i hung out again. i'll try to get that up soon, but for now... i need to go to bed.

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