no underlying theme

Sunday, Nov. 18, 2007 | 4:35 AM

so i've been sitting here, writing. no, it's not depressing dribbles of pointless mutterings falling into a disgusting little puddle of pathetic goo. i left that part out this time, and wrote the rest. so, here's just some random thoughts for you folks that i wrote down...

this first one came from this event that i went to on friday and saturday:

we had so many believers, so many believers all in one room. my mind is so small that it seemed like so much. i found somewhere on google, it said that building can hold 20,000 people. and we, we didn't take up too much of it. we were all spread out. if we had all been squished together, we'd fill maybe, i don't know, less than a fourth of it. i don't know the numbers for the event. it seemed like a lot. it seemed like a WHOLE FREAKIN LOT of girls. the building was just dying for more testosterone.

but it was nothing. no, it was nothing. it was a little itty bitty tiny little SMIDGE of all of the believers in the whole world. it was like the pinpoint of a needle against a whole big fat hairy camel.

i can imagine that huge group of believers we had together there that day, i can imagine them all getting together. if we all harnessed the power of that large group, we could do something. i don't know what, but something. especially with so many females. we could like, make it law so that we get the time during our period off of school and work and stuff. wouldn't that be nice?

but really, they could shake something. the city, maybe, if they were ambitious.

now imagine... imagine if all of the believers in the whole world all came together. every believer from every tribe, every tongue and every nation. imagine. IMAGINE what we could DO!

we could SHAKE THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!

WE COULD SHAKE THIS BIG OLD MISERABLE PLANET OFF OF ITS MISERABLE AXIS!!

but..............

we don't.

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people, they have their own lives. and there's this thing, this thing called time. each person has their own chunk of it. so they put one thing here, and another thing there, and this thing here, and oh, maybe i can fit that one little thing right in there, if i wedge it in just right... and oh. oh, look. there's no more room for more things. there's... no time for you. sorry, just... just no... time.

there's no time for you.
there's no time for you.
there's no time for you.

let's say it one more time...
there is no time for you.

we do it to each other, we do it to God.

and it's not their fault. it's society. and i'm falling into the trap now too, i'm falling into society's trap. i told myself i wouldn't. i don't want to become part of the monster that's killing me, that's killing us all.

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i wanna see every knee bow.

i wanna see every knee bow.

i wanna see every heart bow.

i wanna see every heart of evil stopped in its tracks. i wanna see every wicked scheme of man to come to a nails-on-chalkboard screetching halt. i wanna see the atheists stop, i wanna see their jaws drop. i SO wanna see it! i wanna see the satan worshippers cry like little babies who's mommies won't hold them. i wanna see all of the mockers of God standing in awe before him. i wanna see them drop to their knees and raise their hands. can they mock him to his FACE? can they stand before him? can any one of these stand before the ALMIGHTY GOD, THE CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND EARTH, can they stand before HIM?!? CAN THEY MOCK HIM TO HIS FACE?!?

CAN THEY MOCK HIM TO HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE??

i wanna hear every tongue confess, "Jesus is Lord." i wanna hear it ring across the unimaginable multitudes. i wanna hear it echoing from every voice. i wanna hear that sound.

i wanna see my sky ripped open.

i wanna see the world pulled up by the four corners like a blanket.

i wanna see it rolled up and thrown away. it's trash!

i wanna see this world blow up, cave in, collapse.

i wanna see that moment... that moment, that amazing moment... when every knee shall bow. it will be the most amazing moment. but you know...you know what's the one thing that can ruin that moment for me? the one and only thing?

it won't be that i didn't acquire everything i wanted in this life. if i never fall in love, if i never have children and a family...it won't be that. if i end up the poorest of the poor, eating the crumbs off the street like dogs...it won't be that. if i never tell my mom i love her again...it won't be that. if every little hope and dream of mine fails, if i die as i am here tonight, broken and lonely and desperate...it won't be that.

it will be if any of my loved ones are among those to which Jesus says...

"i never knew you."

that... will ruin the moment for me.

and that... that's why i'm here. i'm here to bring those people to heaven with me.

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