youth group and the doctor

Sunday, Nov. 11, 2007 | 2:49 AM

so, in this entry i was asked, "Did he tell you what those rocks are?" i was gonna reply, basically saying wait for the entry about that. but then i forgot. and now here's the entry.

by the way, the codeine doesn't affect my breathing or heart and stuff anymore. that was the first time i'd taken it. however, it helps bunches with anxiety and stuff... but only for like an hour or so at a time.

anyway, i went to the doctor last sunday. i waited for an hour in a crowded little room full of sick and injured people. the available seating was such that i had to sit right in the middle, with people around me on all sides, including right in front. it was a social phobic's nightmare. i sat there with my eyes closed, trying to tell myself that i wasn't actually there. it was torturous. finally, i went and sat on the floor in the little kid area, which was blocked off so that no one could really see in.

when my name was finally called, i went back to a room where they did the usual things, pulse and temperature and stuff. i also had a qtip stuck into the back of my throat to be tested for strep.

i then waited until a very friendly looking guy came in. he told me that i didn't have strep, looked into my throat for a moment, and then said i had an infection. i sorta felt like i didn't get as much time and attention as i should have for the amount of money i paid. (or my mom paid, or whatever.) it just all seemed kinda rushed. all he really said about the things i was pulling out of my tonsils was "those happen." (more or less.)

i was prescribed antibiotics, and also some codeine with acetaminophen. my mom asked for something for my sore throat, i think mostly because she wanted it. my sore throat never was very bad. six of my pills were taken before i took them into my room.

now it's almost a week later, and i don't really feel better. i'm still feeling weak and worn down and tired...even after sleeping for 11 hours the other day. i still cough sometimes and my throat still feels kinda weird. previously everything was happening in my right tonsil, but last night i coughed up three small yellow blobs that came from the left one. i'm still feeling something in the left, and i also several in the right. i can't get them out though, because i can't see them. they must not be big enough yet. so all i succeeded in doing was making my tonsils very sore while poking at them with qtips. it's so annoying, feeling them there bothers me so much.

my mom doesn't have the money to take me to the doctor again though.

so...that sucks.

i might was well write about youth group now too, since it happened on the same day and stuff.

i got there early, just after six, so i would have time to work on the powerpoint. it was odd though, because i didn't see melissa and joel's car, and the door was locked. tim's car was there, so after waiting for a while, i called him. and who answered? melissa did! that just makes call kinds of sense, doesn't it?

i guess it turned out that joel was picking someone up, so that's why i didn't see the car. melissa answered tim's phone because tim figured i might be calling for her, because her phone was on silent or whatever.

after being let in, i started working on the powerpoint. when i was finished, i walked with melissa up to the front of the room. tim was laying down on the stage, with his head on the speaker, as if he were using it for a pillow. while melissa sat talking to her bother mark, tim motioned for me to come over to him.

he wanted me to stick my head down there on that speaker and listen, as he had been doing. "in here, you can hear them talking," he said.

"i can already hear them talking," i replied.

"yeah, but not through here."

i kept shaking my head, i didn't want to kneel down all awkward like to listen to a speaker.

"bubble wants you to," he said, "she needs you to."

"why does she need me to?"

"she just does. don't question bubble. come on. don't ignore bubble. you never ignore bubble."

"yes i do."

"when she wants food, you give it to her, when she wants water, you give it to her, when she wants attention, you give it to her, every time."

"no i don't."

he eventually stopped and laid down. he must have been tired. i sat down and let bubble go, because i wanted to see her run over and attack him with her excitement. she ran over to lick his face, and then just ran around on the stage all spazzy like. i thought it was cute.

i then went over and sat down by melissa, listening to her and mark talk about wedding rings. when it was time to get started, i went back to the computer and did the powerpoint while they played their music and sang. i then joined them when joel started talking. he talked about the story of the prodigal son. unfortunately i couldn't record it because i had forgotten my camera.

after that, i went and sat on the steps, as usual. this is where things get kinda fuzzy. my brain hasn't been working at it's best lately, because i've been so out of it and stuff. melissa talked to me a little bit, but i can't really remember what was said. it was nothing significant though, or i would remember. joel also talked to me for a bit, telling me that the movie, "year of the dog," sucks.

after a while, melissa took me home.

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