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i feel like passing out as i'm writing this

Thursday, Nov. 01, 2007 | 2:17 AM

so tonight i was trying to get more white stuff off of my tonsil. at one point, i gagged, and got a much better view of what was going on. i realized that there were multiple spots with white stuff, and that they were actually popping out of holes, and what i could see was just the tip of the iceburg. i kept making myself gag and sort of "holding that pose," so i could see more and reach more. i popped out what i could, before i felt like i had gagged too much. they were orange on the part that was inside the tonsil, and the white part yellowed after taking them out.

then i decided to take a picture of what i've been pulling out of my tonsil...

gross, i know.

after reading more, i actually think they might be something called "tonsil stones." if that's the case, it looks like the only permanent cure involves surgery of some kind. which sucks, because i don't want to keep removing these annoying little things myself.

so again i come to the conclusion that i need to go to the doctor, but i have to wait until saturday. in the meantime, i'm still feeling increasingly more sick and energyless and worn down... and i've been shaking so bad today. i feel even sicker now, after removing some of these blobs. i've started coughing and i have this weird feeling, like it's hard to breathe.

life sucks. it sucks, and i have no one to talk to.

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