stuff

Friday, Oct. 26, 2007 | 4:33 AM

i'm in a little bit better mood tonight. i still feel lousy though and am very stressed about tomorrow. i'm always stressed about tomorrow. i have no freakin time. i will never take five classes again. i keep waiting and waiting for a break...but it never comes.

but, guess what cool thing is gonna happen tomorrow (technially today)? i'm finally getting baptized. awesomeness. i'm really nervous though.

there's been a bunch of things i've been wanting to write about, so i'm gonna go ahead and write about some of them. even though i should be either doing homework or getting to bed.

for the last few weeks, i've been feeling like i've been having gunk build up in the back of my throat. it's been bothering me a lot and driving me crazy, always feeling it there but unable to get rid of it. the other night, while brushing me teeth i suddenly noticed a huge while blob of something on one of my tonsils. it was kinda disturbing.

i looked up online and found that's it's mostly likely tonsillitis. i read that i don't necessarily have to have a sore throat and be sick to have it. if i don't get sick and stuff, it means my body is handling it well.

so i got a qtip and scraped this white stuff away. i felt a little better, but i think there was some in another spot that can't be seen, because i still felt it. the next night, i looked again to see if more white stuff had come to replace what i had scraped away. it had, but it wasn't as much. tonight i looked again, i don't see anything. i still feel it a little bit, but not as much. i also noticed that the tonsil appeared a lot smaller, so it must have been swollen before but isn't now. so... this is a good sign. it looks like it might go away without me needing to go to the doctor.

i have started feeling a bit sick though. with my immune system fighting this, that probably contributes to how tired and worn down i've been feeling... along with stress and the emotional drainage from all of the depression. i just wanna collapse and sleep for 25 hours.

i started feeling dizzy today before school. it made school suck even more than usual. afterwards, it got so bad that i felt like i was gonna fall over. i nearly did while in the shower...three times. that's probably not the best situation in which one should shower. i could fall and get knocked uncounscious and drown...

...actually, that would work out well.

i don't know. maybe i can try and let saturday be restful.

...

i've went to this wedneday thing at jordan's house the last two weeks. it's not college group like it used to be, but it's some sort of youth leader training thing. i know it isn't incredibly appropriate for me, but i was welcomed by jordan and invited by melissa. so i'll keep going, but i won't be writing about it consistantly like youth group. i'll just write about it if anything particularly interesting happens that week.

since i am almost 20 at a high school youth group... jordan said that i'm officially part of the leadership there now... somehow. i don't know why, but i liked that. i'd love to be part of something to help further God's kingdom, in whatever little way i can. i guess now i'm uh... the powerpoint girl or something.

remember jordan and rachel's baby that was born in um...february i think? i saw him for the first time in a long time two weeks ago. he is ADORABLE. seriously. he's one of the cutest babies i've ever seen. when i first walked in, he was on the floor looking up at me. i kneeled down and smiled at him. i wanted to start talking in that baby voice, and babble a bunch of nonsensical things to him and tell him in 37 ways how cute he is... but i didn't.

and tim has announced that he's now engaged... and i've already heard the story like three times now. i'm happy for him, but hearing stuff like that is always depressing for me. it's like songs. i don't like "love song" type songs because they depress me. that's one reason why i like sticking to christian music. or u2. they have non love song type songs. or they have ones where it's not extremely obvious either way... it can sorta be what you want it to be. to me anyway.

...

i've named my angora ferret sharky. it seemed appropriate at the time that i named him...

i see now why angoras are known for being bad biters. for like the first two weeks, he bit all of the time and he bit HARD. the others bit frequently when i first got them, but it was never very hard at all. this guy has made me bleed several times. i'm really impressed though, because it didn't take long to train him out of it. he still bites some, but not as frequently or as hard. he's actually really really sweet now. he's quite the licker. i just love him.

i don't think angoras are necessarily bad biters... i think they're just overall more aggressive and more feisty than normal ferrets. actually i don't think that...i know that. i've experienced it, and the vet told me.

the vet also told me that they tend to live longer than normal ferrets. that's quite interesting. that's the opposite from what i read online. i'd read that they have a bunch of health problems (beyond the ones that ferrets normally are prone to) and stuff. but i think i trust a vet more than random people online who have no sources to back them up.

so yeah... i wanna write about a lot more... but it's so late now. i really need to get ready for bed.

hopefully tomorrow will go ok.

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