another... experiment

Monday, Sept. 03, 2007 | 8:41 PM

yeah, another one. this happened on thursday, and i began writing about it that day.

...

i did it today because my mom worked early. she started at 9:45 am. i knew that her and my dad were leaving at 9:15, so i got up about then. i wasn't hungry, so i didn't feel like eating much. i ate some crackers, trying to stuff as much into me as i could. i didn't make much of a dent in the cracker bag. i decided on some chocolate ice cream, because that's easy to eat when i don't feel like eating. then i realized that i'd need a lot of hot chocolate to get eight ounces in me, so i stopped. i didn't want to over chocolate myself. then i ate some strawberries and decided that was good enough.

i got out the biggest glass i could find, a two cup measuring cup. i made about a cup of hot chocolate. i took that, the bottle of stuff, some chocolate and my water bottle outside. i sat down on a step that's probably been peed on a hundred times. i poured my eight ounces into my cup, making it about two cups worth of liquid. it smelled horrible. for some reason, i decided that it would be a good idea to get a straw, so i wouldn't have to dump big gulps of it into myself. that was a stupid idea. i took a sip... it was nasty. i took a bigger sip... i gagged. the straw made it too slow. i wanted it in my mouth for the shortest time possible, so i abandoned that idea.

i was afraid that i would gag and spill the giant measuring cup all over myself, so i got a large glass. i poured half of it in, and then added some milk to dilute it some more. after drinking that, i poured the other half in, added milk to that, and drank that. all in all, i think i drank about four cups of liquid. i began at about 10:30. it took a long time to get it all in myself. i attempted to drink it quickly, but it made me feel so sick. i felt so sick and tired, and it sucked. i wondered why i was even doing this to myself. i considered stopping, but i kept at it. i finally finished a little after 2 pm. after i stopped drinking, i stopped feeling sick.

it was near the end of the second glass that i began feeling it. when i finished, i cleaned up all of my evidence. i was almost tripping over myself as i did this. then i just sorta stumbled around the house and played with the dogs. i was so tired. my head felt heavy, but the rest of me felt light, if that makes sense? i was... floppy. that didn't last very long though. not long enough.

eventually i went into my room and listened to some music again. again i blasted it into my ears with headphones, sang like crazy, recorded it, and then laughed at myself. it was fun, especially the singing like crazy part. at one point i made up a song about puppies, and my foot itching, and cherries... and stuff. i actually posted it, but then deleted it when i came to my senses.

eventually i changed my clothes because some had spilled on me, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. i got up later after my dad came home.

after all this, i gotta say, i think there's too much hype about this stuff. it's really not THAT great. of course it probably really is better with friends and stuff. that said, i have an odd wanting to drink some more...

on top of all this, i didn't get very much sleep, so now i'm still tired and i feel completely out of it. also my stomach hurts, and i feel sick.

and darn it, i've got hiccups.

...

now it's the next day. i felt a little sick all night last night, and was really tired. i tried to go to bed early, but i couldn't sleep. i had gotten depressed, and really wanted to take a sleeping pill so that i could just stop thinking. consciously anyway. i knew i shouldn't though, and i successfully refrained. i finally fell asleep sometime around 4 i think.

i woke up around 10:30 am. i felt really sick, and had a hard time getting back to sleep because of it. i couldn't believe that i still felt sick. i woke up again around 1, still feeling sick. i laid there until about 2 before finally getting up. after getting up and moving around, i started feeling better.

...

now it's a few days later...

for some reason, i really felt like i wanted more that next day. i don't know why. i went to look at the two bottles, to see if i could squeeze anymore out unnoticably. i poured out the almost empty one into the measuring cup. it was four ounces. i then began to pour some out of the full bottle that i'd diluted with water. this is when i realized that it was quite obvious that i'd added water to it. if my parents saw it, they'd know.

i began to freak out. i realized my idiocy, and began feeling guilt along with worry. what was i going to do? i didn't have anyone that would replace it for me, and i thought that breaking it might be suspicious. i was upset pretty much all day. the next day, when i was thinking more clearly, i realized that they really wouldn't suspect me of drinking it if i told them that the bottle broke.

so that's what i'm gonna do. i'm gonna do it tomorrow, because i'll have some time home alone. it'll be nice to have something that i can smash for once.

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