"we're going to south dakota, where everyone who loves fish can look at fish..."

Wednesday, Aug. 22, 2007 | 12:17 AM

i wanted to make an appointment for getting some actual non-antihistamine sleeping pills, but i don't have insurance, so my parents didn't have the money. my mom had an appointment scheduled for this monday, though, so she just asked for sleeping pills. we're basically the same height and weight, so the dosage and stuff would be the same.

she was prescribed some stuff called desyrel. after looking it up online, we found that though it is a sleep aid, it's main usage is an antidepressant. now isn't that interesting? think God worked that one out?

her doctor suggested starting out with a half a pill at first. so i took a half of a pill that night, about a half hour before i was planning on going to bed. after i took it, i was going to eat, take bubble out one last time, put lolly out, wash my hands (because i always like to wash them after handling animals before going to bed, and eating and stuff), brush my teeth, and then go to bed.

within the first few minutes, while i was eating, i felt a sudden sharp pain in my leg. it stopped after a minute, and then i felt a similar pain in my arm. it also stopped after a minute. i did read that one of the side effects is "aches or pains in muscles and bones."

about ten minutes after taking it, when i was taking bubble out, i began to feel dizzy. it intensified, and became very similar to the woozy/fuzzy feeling that the antihistamines had been giving me... only more intense. shamefully, i was loving it.

about fifteen minutes after taking it, as i was washing my hands, the feeling grew so intense that i felt like i was gonna pass out. i told my mom (who was still awake) how i was feeling, and she said, "just go brush your teeth and go to bed."

"i don't think i'm gonna make it to brushing my teeth," i said as i sat down on the kitchen floor. i could not stand up any longer.

"then just go to bed," she said.

"i can't move," i said as i proceeded to lay down.

the last thing i remember saying was, "i'm gonna pass out." then i did just that. i was completely out.

i think i started dreaming immediately, because i had images in my mind when i suddenly heard my mom saying, "sarah, sarah are you ok?" according to her, it took a full 30 seconds to wake me.

i was extremely confused, and didn't remember right away what had happened. i didn't know why i was laying on the floor, and feeling like i was gonna pass out. i was scared for a moment, before i remembered. i was like, "huh? what? why do i feel like this? ...oh, oh yeah. wow, i passed out. i actually passed out."

my mom walked me to her room, and i collapsed onto her bed. as i laid there, the feeling slowly faded. i told my mom about a weird pain that was in my jaw. it was just like the sharp pain that had been in my leg and arm. for a few moments, it hurt really really bad, but it didn't last long.

another one of the side effects that i'd read was, "uncontrollable laughter." i began laughing hysterically at random things. i noticed a hook thing on her wall, that had ten hooks, but only two were being used. for some reason i found this really funny. i pointed, and started laughing. it took me a few minutes before i could stop laughing enough to say, "you're sure using that hook thingy, aren't you?" i also thought it was really funny when i started asking her about the broom in her room. (haha, that rhymes.)

she wanted me to sleep on her bed that night, because she was afraid i would hurt myself while climbing in and out of my bed, but i didn't want to. since the feeling that i was gonna pass out was fading, i went ahead and got in my own bed.

i think that waking me up after i had passed out kinda messed things up. it took me awhile to get to sleep. it didn't take a really long time, but it did take longer than the initial 15 minutes. i was in an unusually good mood though, and felt extremely relaxed. one weird thing though, was that i was having a hard time breathing through my nose. another side effect i read was, "nasal or sinus congestion."

i figured i'd gotten to sleep around 4 am, and i woke up at 6. i was really thirsty. i was experiencing yet another side effect, dry mouth. over the next two hours, i tried unsuccessfully to get back to sleep, and got up to drink some water about three times. frustration was setting in, so i decided to take another fourth of a pill. i then fell asleep rather quickly, and slept until about 1.

as i got up for more water, i laughed about the dream i had had. another side effect is vivid dreams, and i did have a vivid dream, much like what the melatonin would do. in my dream, north and south dakota were covered in water. people there lived underwater, in air tight houses. they were like, living in bubbles. my parents i were going on a trip with the church to that area, to go look at fish, apparently. the last thing my mom said before i woke up was, "we're going to south dakota, where everyone who loves fish can look at fish. they also have grass on the bottom."

i went back to sleep again, and got up around 4. i'd read that for the first few days, it can cause a sort of a "hangover." i did feel pretty tired all day, as well as really thirsty, and sometimes when i stood up, i felt like i was gonna pass out. i also was in a rather good mood.

i did experience a lot of side effects, but things usually do hit me pretty hard the first time i take them. i liked that it initially put me out in 15 minutes, and that it gave me a crazy dream, and that it made me giggly and put me in a generally good mood. the worst effects were the pain and the thirst, but the pain only lasted a few minutes at a time, and it's good to drink a lot of water anyway.

tonight, i'm gonna take a half a pill again, but right before getting into bed this time. i don't want to be woken up on the kitchen floor again.

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