at 4 am...

Wednesday, Jul. 04, 2007 | 8:20 PM

so this is the kind of stuff that gets written in my notebook at 4 am...

in me, God, you don't have the world's greatest christian. you don't have a powerful leader. you don't have a great bible scholar. you don't have someone who will probably ever make any sort of lasting mark on the world. you don't have one that's gonna bring you tons of glory.

you have, in me, someone who is terribly flawed. fearful, timid, reserved. i can never live up to the kind of service you deserve. i can never deserve your love.

but you have in me, God, one who is deeply devoted, who clings to you and just longs to be with you. you know my heart. even though i fill my life with so much stuff, deep down, the only thing i REALLY want is to draw closer to you. i'm afraid and hurt in this confusing world and i just want your comfort. sometimes i feel so guilty, wanting to depend so much on you and the comfort you can give, but sometimes i think that's what you really want from us.

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