some rambling

Saturday, Jun. 23, 2007 | 1:34 PM

i really can't imagine how anyone can not believe in God. if you just try it, if you open your mind and your eyes a little, he'll reveal himself.

something in me just like, knows it. i feel it. it's so real and true. it's like he's my best friend. ever since i've started going to youth group, i've grown a lot. i've grown closer and closer and closer... like every day. especially lately. i've been praying a whole lot more, and that really helps a lot.

i really suck at praying. i don't know why. i just do. i used to go for days, even weeks, without doing it. but lately it's been daily, and even somewhat constant. i decided two things. i decided that when i worry about something, to instead pray about it. it helps a lot. i also decided to faithfully pray for my friends. because i worry about them. well, i guess "worry" isn't the best word. i guess it's more like... concern. but that brought on the habit of praying every day.

it's amazing because i know he's listening, and i can trust him, and he's always there. i feel like he's called me... me specifically. for some people, it's so hard for them to believe for some reason, but i just accepted the truth right away once i heard it. why is that?

there was some hesitation. i didn't want to lose control of my life or something... but that hesitation only last like... a day. once i believed, it revealed itself to be so true.

now i want to lose control. i struggle to. i can only see into the present. as far as the path before me, i'm pretty much blind. God stands outside time and can see everything. he knows what lies ahead of me. why would i not want to give him control?

i'm just sorta rambling, and not really sure where i'm going with this. i just felt like writing it, but, i guess i'll stop now.

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